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ZachEffingTailor

He's normally smiling. He just really liked those shoes.

  • Player: Pthalo (Acridone on Teg)
  • Name: Dr. Zachary F. Tailor (Born Isaac Israel Heinrich Nadelmann)
  • Meaning: Isaac: 'He laughs' Nadelmann: possibly tailor, literally 'needleman'. Heinrich is after his father, and Israel was mandatory.
  • Nicknames: Zach, beardo weirdo, fuzzykins, the fat one
  • Gender: Male
  • Age: Born Apr 11, 1936 (Joined RED age 32, currently 36)
  • Nationality: English (Born in Germany)
  • Build: A bit stocky, solid enough to carry a teammate and a medipack around.
  • Height: 5'9"
  • Weight: 180-185 lbs


  • Team: RED
  • Job Class: Medic
  • Current Load-Out: quick-fix (made from modified kritz), needlegun (non-opiate tranquilizers), hacksaw, two capped syringes (non-opiate tranquilizers), one capped syringe (epinephrine)


  • Parents: Ellen Tailor (Inge Nadelmann), Heinrich Nadelmann (likely deceased)
  • Siblings: None.
  • Offspring: None he's legally responsible for.
  • Regrets: Endless. See above, see below.

Theme Songs: Anticipating, In the Hall of the Mountain King , and Caroline Deleted

Unfortunately, The Gonk too.

Appearance & PersonalityEdit

Dark brown hair and bright hazel eyes, he looks to be a fairly average man of a smarmy disposition. He has a notable British accent, with a faint German tinge if you know how to listen (an artifact of his mother's attempts at language education). His outfit is generally similar to the medic standard, though he adopts a normal labcoat over the side buttoned ones most have. The pocket and sleeve have faint stitch holes from removed company badges, but it's not obvious. His gloves are orange rather than red and he did away with tall boots entirely, opting for plain workboots. The signature chinstrap beard and wayfarers he sports are by far the easiest things to remember.

His demeanour is typically very unpreturbed, amused and sometimes snide depending on company and motives. The illusion breaks a little when he shifts efficiently to stern, or politely professional when needed. Or if he just plain feels like it. Unfortunately, neither of these are really him just being himself.

He comes off as a bit of an ass sometimes, mostly a result of not being much intimidated by others and taking arguments as a challenge. He does have his problems (occasionally drowned out in private with good bourbon, or the noise of his songwriting hobby), but for the most part they don't make it into daylight save for a semi-frequent lack of social aptitude. If you're being an idiot, chances are he won't tell you directly, and become exceedingly difficult instead. He does enjoy being stubborn and letting people make themselves angrier over things he doesn't feel responsible for. This does not work when he encounters somebody as ornery, though the insults thrown usually wind up fun to watch from a safe distance.

Tailor likes his social distance. Attachment is always a tricky business as a medic, and when you've been forced through a number of regrettable situations in your life, it can be hard to relate except amongst fellow oddballs. He really does mean well under the trollish exterior; if you're willing to let your guard down around him, he'll more likely do the same in return. He watches over those he does consider close to him (they might not always reciprocate), and readily puts his life on the line for those he chooses to protect.

HistoryEdit

Tailor's family was identified as Jewish - following his arrival, they attempted to flee Germany. Heinrich became separated during their journey and it was never known where he ultimately got sent. His mother Inge, in a streak of insufferable resolve that seems to be a hallmark of the family, continued with anger as fuel to get herself and Isaac to England safely. Albeit with very little to make any sort of life for themselves in London. Isaac is particularly neutral concerning his father as he was too young to remember any of this. He never became a practicing Jew and only knows the bare minimum of Yiddish at her insistence in addition to fluent German (she insisted a lot of things. It was part of getting by). The London bombings more or less defined his early life, him and Inge taking refuge in the underground for most of it while many were able to evacuate. He was four at the time, and nine when the war finally ended. They eked out a living moving to an unmarred town near London, working to sort through salvageable goods left from all the damage years prior and then any odd jobs the two of them could take. It was hard, but ends were met enough that life became relatively normal.

Tailor was initially interested in music. Still is. But being a composer was hardly going to pull what was left of his family out of the ground, so in spite of his reclusive songwriting interests, he abandoned the music lessons he'd enjoyed for several years and ultimately chose a medical career path (having his mother insisting on it until his ears bled helped). His experience working for the local pharmacist was not what he would call medically useful, but he'd made up his mind to get out of the country for a proper education so the fact him and his mother agreed on anything was not something he was about to waste.

Eventually adopting the name Zachary Tailor, he moved to Baltimore to become a surgeon, intending to send money home. Maybe it wasn't the profession he would have chosen in other circumstances, but if he was never going to hear the end of it then he was bloody well choosing where. After completing his degree and internship through John Hopkins, he wound up transferring to Boston where he worked to become specialized as a trauma surgeon. He did well, though he voiced a great deal of opinions about the medical system that were perhaps just a little too socialist, at a time when he really shouldn't have.

With post-war communist scares, his background was looked into. His German birth name cropped up, as well as the details concerning his immigration to Britain. As far as he can tell the government was blacklisting him for their own gain. Someone needed to make an example, anyway. He was suspended from pay and circumstances left him without enough funds to purchase a plane ticket home (which was a clue to him this was bullshit, they could have just deported him.) ...until the independent firm Aperture Science Innovators intervened and 'offered' him a different line of work. Any record of him in the states were conveniently overlooked and doctor Tailor was essentially swept under the country's carpet. That was back in 1966.

The BasicsEdit

  • Strengths
- Actual surgical experience.
- Can lie, has lied, and you really shouldn't challenge him to a game of poker.
- Not terrifying. (Go medics.)
- Will never refuse someone medical aid regardless of the hour.
- Bit of a sneak.
- Ridiculously patient and levelheaded when he chooses to be.
- Farsighted. Excellent distance vision.
- Incredibly protective of those he cares for. Sometimes whether it's wanted or not.
- Doesn't give up in a fight once he's set on it. He's extremely difficult to get rid of grudge-wise.
  • Weaknesses
- Light smoker. It's mostly a problem whenever he tries to quit it.
- Bit of a sneak.
- Needs to stop fucking lying.
- Ridiculously flippant and bullheaded when he chooses to be.
- Tries for mercy kills. Definition of mercy a bit skewed. Hates this. resorting to sniping out of career frustration hasn't exactly helped.
- Will offer medical treatment to nonthreatening enemies.
- Has a very closeted love-hate relationship with alcohol. He works to keep a leash on it.
- Farsighted. Incredibly poor close-range vision.
- Sometimes throws himself into into no-win fights. It's unclear why he does this as it's not entirely selflessness.
  • Likes
- Not having the Government trying to deport him. Har har.
- Rain, white noise or similar.
- Song writing/composing/playing. Wants something besides a harmonica. The didge can stay.
- Knowing the little details.
- Privacy. He's all smiles and full of talk but in truth, he's introverted. He can be frustrating to find when he wants to be left alone. He's not above being weird and annoying to get himself some space either.
- Anything fried. He's a surgeon, not a dietician.
- Marijuana, sometimes. Only sometimes.
- Debating things. Though he doesn't always distinguish between frivolous banter, intellectual discussions, and pointless arguments.
- The Mosin-Nagant. Harvey, and bad luck being the other two things he considers reliable on a regular basis.
  • Dislikes
- His last place of employment.
- Asbestos (see previous).
- Having to cook. Don't ask him to, he's terrible at it anyway.
- The social aspect of being a patient's doctor - he just feels inept. He'd rather focus on the technical parts, of which he feels much more suited toward.
- Respawn and the medigun. Tailor uses the medigun but refuses to be treated by one unless it is the only way to avoid respawn. Respawn is worse.
- Teleporters. Just no. Don't ask him to expand on that.
- Finds socializing with groups exhausting. Don't be surprised if he's someone else entirely (and probably more true to himself) one-on-one. One person at a time suits him better.
- Religion. Fun to debate, less so to take seriously.
- Being TOO SERIOUS all the time. It's like swearing, it loses it's potency if you don't save it for the good moments.
- Cats. He's allergic to anything that stupid.

RelationshipsEdit

  • RED
O'hannigan: Knows him personally. They were coworkers at another construction company that specialized in remote operations like oil rig construction. (Tailor was part of the on-site medical team. He fully admits he took up contract work like this after the communist accusation robbed him of hospital job. He hadn't anticipated on RED being anything other than it's company name implied.) Harvey was an engineer with them for quite some time, but Tailor was under the impression he had gone home once his contract had been completed. Tailor was disturbed to find his old colleague here lost, arguably brain damaged, and looking like prosthetist's nightmare. He has vowed to look out for Harvey in the midst of... whatever this is. He doesn't force Harvey to talk about it. (Those who are/were closer friends of Harvey, like Lucas, Bonnie, and Gladys, know something bigger happened and that Zach is glossing over a lot of details. Ardette and Taliba both know Aperture Science is involved, but to hopefully a limited extent. Harvey seems to have a habit of ruining lies Zach sets in place for the better.)
Lucas Conroy: He was two hundred percent more trouble than he was worth, and the friendship was still worth it. Don't ask for the math on that one, I just miss the arse.
Julian:  Thank you for being more likely to knit me a scarf than spit expletives at me. Except that one time. It's still better than most company and I was kind of asking for it.
Amelie: Well that was awkward but I try not to speak ill of the dead to Harvey's face.
Ardette: This is why I can't have nice things. Or keep my lunch down.
Gladys: We have too much in common to be remotely normal and not enough in common to drive each other stark mad. If that's not friendship, I was horribly misinformed, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Ace: You need to learn when to shut up, now please eat your ice cream.
Dr. Eberhardt: History says I ought to hate you unconditionally but you're actually competent in the medbay even without a medigun. I respect that. Thank you for fixing my face.
Zach Creedon: You are a Mann Co. regulation-size bear with the mental capacity of a below-average bear. Where the hell does Clark keep finding people like you, and did they include a return address?
Lei Lo Mo: You know who to respect and who to ignore, and that is more than nine tenths of this team has figured out. Thank you for being sane.
Callahan: You were fun to bother until everything went to hell riding a hedgehog and now I just feel stupid. SNAFU, I suppose.
Leiki: You are weirdly sane for a pyro. That's not a bad thing, please keep that way.
Phoebe: I am allergic to your hobbies and I will dispose of my fag ends wherever I damn well decide to smoke. And yet, I can't hate you. You're frighteningly nice. Please stop, I don't know what to do with nicepeople.
Dane: In keeping with the trend that is Engineers, you're actually rather easy to talk to. Sad that tendency isn't true of our medical staff.
Johnny: And I thought my problems were obvious.
Surveillance: What the fuck were you ever hired for, if you wanted to give me more medical work you could have joined Blu. Good riddance.
Buddy: Your idler-seeking sentries are an abomination and I dislike that this is not the first time I've worked under such conditions. Go choke on small bones, Buddy.


  • BLU
Andy: If you weren't my enemy we'd probably be sharing beers right now. Many, many beers.
Constantine: You are weird in rainbowy ways I ought to comprehend but don't. Stop stealing our hot sauce.
Lloyd: Melancholy in the manner of someone who's learned things the hard way, I can't say I can't relate. You're a good ally Mr. Albertson.
Vic: Ghosts aren't real and lopping limbs off isn't going to make it true. Otherwise I would haunt that fucking mustache of yours after the amount of times you've sent me to respawn.
Matty: You are too nice for an enemy and that suits me just fine. Please keep babysitting Ace. P.S. Ardette is not going to warm up to you, but it's still entertaining to witness.
David: I can understand keeping your job simple but it's like you're loyal to your weird mafia boss. And on top of it you and I keep crossing paths. Ow.
Lucius: Please don't do that thing with the barrel again, I don't enjoy spinning.
Taliba: You are bad for my health and I ought to be afraid of you. Where the hell did you get to?

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